Our common differences.

All of you, each one of you whom I am addressing in this post are different, very different, and yet have something in common. There is something common to all of us, and it is not our education or our career. We are all people, and despite all our differences in appearances, thoughts and imaginations, we have a belief in common. By virtue of experience I believe that all readers of this piece are ~25 yrs old. A 5 here or there is fine, because you’d still believe in what I’m going to say. That belief is this: “Half our active life has been done with, so let’s play the second innings a little better.” Disagree?

Truth be told: I have felt it ever since I have been a 20 year old, and I presume each one of you did, but since that isn’t the central idea behind this post I’d defer the discussion to our personal chat, shall I?

So we all are a bunch of 25 somethings—to sound being inclusive let me say 20 somethings – that are all very different from each other and have spent half our life, supposedly purposelessly and are working towards a better life in the second innings. The journey of a human being is defined by his relationships with various people in his life; how he deals with his friend, parents, spouse, daughter etc. Quite nerve-wrenchingly we agree –with a reasonable discomfort– that at times we have had messed up some of our relationships. I give you three very short stories that you can relate to (either directly or indirectly) and those that connect together to put forward the message I want to convey.

• You have had a friend, a rather nice friend, someone whom you have harbored for many years, and who returned the same cozy environment to you. But this was before you were forced to break out of that beautiful relationship you shared. I cannot stress the importance of how well you enjoyed in their company, how beautifully you treasure each of the particle of their shady character. On a beautiful Saturday evening, however, in a momentary (and perhaps momentous) fit of anger, you discarded the possibility of having a greater & much deeper (meaningful) friendship.

• Then there was a friend – of opposite sex – and she was as nice to you as nice could mean; you studied, gabbled, played pranks on others, laughed and cried, everything together. You had begun liking her a lot, and there was an incessant dream of sharing the rest of the life with her – which suddenly looked possible. You told her your feelings; she retaliated and resisted your advances. It looked like a ton of contradictions, and life seemed miser than ever before. Now at this point you probably decided to live on as a great friend with her, but perhaps, she has other ideas – she wants to move out of this volatile relationship you both were having. You both have never dealt with this before – and she chose the wrong way to end it – and she ends the relationship abruptly, calling you guilty of treachery & betrayal. Feeling disgusted at what just happened, you riposted in authority – claiming innocence. The irony – you feel cheated, betrayed and see yourself on the other side of the treason. You snub off the person from your life, and vowed to never communicate with the person again.

• You were talking to your dad; discussing, debating, and fencing each other well. During the activity came an awkward situation which you thought wasn’t appropriate, a very awkward conversation it was turning to be. Soon the discussion would result in a debate, you continue. But, out of the blue, the debate would result in a wasted confrontation. It was a petty issue, nevertheless. If not, then like the countless other lowly issues, this issue had a wide-eyed solution that could be accepted. If only, yes, if only, instead of confronting your dad, you were willing to confront the petty issue. You hated your dad since that evening, and that had conjured itself & nurtured for the rest of your life.

So what do we have here?

1. A great friendship that went too shallow.
2. A great friendship that was lost in confusion.
3. A steady relationship that succumbed to confrontation.

In each of the above cases, the much clichéd idea of apologizing could sort the problem out. But, on the face of it, there seems to be a problem with apologizing. Apologizing might imply that you were wrong in first place; truth is: nobody likes to lose a battle, even with the loved ones. Apologizing would make sense If, and only if, at least one of the two parties were willing to move on with the idea that 'losing a battle with the loved one' being equivalent to 'losing the battle for the loved one'. The idea behind this post isn’t just to re-ignite the pleasures of those greener pastures, those most cherished moments of your life, the importance of the most pricy people of your life; I always had a greater purpose, for I want to understand what an apology means. Imagine how simple life would be if you were not required to apologize. Yes, what if none of the two parties had to apologize – because maybe none of them was ever wrong. It is important to realize that there could be something beyond apologizing and forgiving; which is to do neither of the two. Yes the good old English proverb “Ignorance is bliss” is the message we all know but hardly implement at the right time. Let us get the second innings right –and win this life in peace. :)